moving in...

I have moved into the new place and am not sure what to do with it. So much space so little furniture. Also my entertainment consists of unpacking and trying not to let my legs fall asleep while I type in my airbed. Not really sure where this is going to go but we will see. Upon entering the workforce I have realized how young I really am. Near graduation I thought of myself as being old and before long I will have been sucked up by the world and blend into the corporate crowd. My best years were behind me and I had 60 more to drag out ahead of me. This will not be the case. I see leaving college lets you take your youthful experience of little consequences to your actions and apply them to any way you see fit. This will lead to ultimate fulfillment of ones life if one is careful. Why does the partying have to stop? Sure doesnt seem to stop if you look hard enough. At the Essekane music festival a majority of the audience were above the age of 40 and having the time of your life. People who say that the best has come and gone have grown up to fast. Why is it important to grow up and let the inner child die? I agree be professional in your work environment and this will lead to some sacrifices to be made, but do not lose light of what makes you happy.

One should always strive to do what they enjoy. Do not let others tell you what makes you happy or "thats how the world is" go out and see for yourself. It is time to quit blaming others for your hardships. It sucks, life happens, move on. One cannot change the past, only learn from it. Take ownership of your actions and get back on that horse. It is important that will power overcomes all, no matter the hardships. If something is important to you either succeed or die trying, apathy is the greatest sin of man kind. But if you give up dont make an excuse it was to hard for such and such a reason, know that it may have not been that important to you and there is no use in making excuses. Two books have really reinforced this ideology in me; "Kaffir Boy" and "Miracle in the Andes" stories of people who have overcome insurmountable odds to achieve their goals. Another story with a much more depressing ending but of equal importance is "Into the Wild." I do not condone the actions of Mr Chris McCandless, far from it, he was selfish and hurt his family in a way that I could never comprehend. But Mr. McCandless fallowed his dream and lead one of the most fulfilling lives in recent history. A short happy life is better then a long painful existence.

I know I am a hypocrite in writing this. I have failed and made excuses. I have blamed others for my shortcomings. I also know that I will continue to do the same. But I have also come to the realization that I cannot change the past, only learn from it. I have power over my life and everyday I seize more of it. I have hurt people in the past, I have not acted on opportunities that have presented themselves, and people have caused me more pain than they will probably ever know, but there is nothing I can do about it now except to move on and achieve my goals. To do what makes me happy. Have patience, instant gratification in life is only reserved for drugs and masturbation. True happiness is a slow process and when it comes you will know, but you must try to succeed.

hmm odd little life lesson came out there, totally didnt see that one coming. I guess I wish for everyone to be happy. So please live YOUR life. Youll be happy that you did.